the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. vacations, SDC, new office, the jig, influx of international guests, christmas and ofcourse, the upcoming LCP elections.

the one week i got at home was fun - got to meet up with some old friends, made some new ones. it's always weird when someone who's been a rock for you has his life turned upside down, and its even more difficult when they don't realize that they don't always have to be the rock.

came back, had one day in LUMS and then off to karachi. SDC was another rollercoaster of emotions - right from watching the potential eb 2006-2007 change in a span of 4 days to aqeels "thingys". sohaib's never ending discussions about tony, to hassan trying really hard not to fall into the abyss. my relationship with every one of these guys has changed for life - they'll never just be members, or even vps to me - they'll always be the guys i spent 32 hours in the train with - talking about random crap, and trying to explain to hassan how AI functions. more important then us, though, were the karachites (who just wouldn't tell us who the chair was!!) . i'll never forget saba's "i won't get sick if i don't sleep" and dodi's "i'll be with you in 5 minutes". sharmeen and i had a crazy time trying to figure out exactly WHAT was going on and of course the new members are gems - the impromptu lunch at amirs house, the crazy driving, the harassed OC, and of course...the unmentionable incident! everytime lahore and karachi meet - we form a complete whole...corny...i know. but so true. can't wait for NLC now :)

but the people who won't be there at NLC will be the faci's...what a bunch of people. from amaan's being voted "sexiest faci" to nicole's "superstar", nic's "basically's" to eva's confessions. and finally, dandi and his "arre great yaar"...i don't think anyone in @ pakistan is EVER going to forget that expression - including the people who don't even understand what it means.

i don't think i'll ever forget SDC - it was an amazing conference, one of the best i've been to - and the food kicked ass!!

came back from SDC, had barely enough time to breathe and got thrown into the music society's first concert of the year "the jig". a full 2 days of running around, pissing people off (my team was managing the tickets), missing the ENTIRE concert, and ending up at KFC yet again! an awesome two days i must say. i always do a full round up of the concerts i attend..but since i didnt get to attend this one, i can't do that. i do think, however, that this was one concert for which every contingency had been planned out, except for bad singers (you can never really do anything about that can you?)...so - a few songs aside...everything i was able to hear was great - some people were exceptional...but they always are. notable mentions to ehsan's "stayin' alive", zahra's "star" and the 2 songs the lower staff sang. thanks again to the entire roadies team - you guys rocked!!

and finally - on to the current happenings...the following people are in town: nicole, nic, delia, tori. to be joined tomorrow by ellen, and two other german trainees from DI. then on saturday, delia and tori leave and on sunday the germans leave. and in the middle of all this we have LCP elections...which is a completely different type of story itself...

so - next time...updates on how christmas went (so far, we have ALL the decorations and food, no alcohol, and no time to decorate the tree in) and also pictures from the touristy things the visitors did. and maybe updates on the LCP elections...

i'm back

i moved back - yes, yes...i know i'm stupid and only lasted 36 hours on myaiesec.net - laugh all you want. :P

address change

i've taken the plunge and moved my blog to aiesec.net - the new url is nida.myaiesec.net :)

The Jig

The Jig
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Saturday - 17th December 2005!
Be there - or be very very square!

also, the entire music society support staff, including yours truly, are getting ID badges for free entry into concerts - WOoHoO!!

tagged..

tagged by pierre.

Ten years ago
- i was 12, and i thought i was in love with one of my brothers friends
- i thought my family was "dysfunctional"
- i thought boy bands were cool, life could not go on without "channel V"
- i didn't know what my goals in life were
- i realized i wanted to visit india
- i lived in faisalabad, and was the only girl in the city who wore jeans everywhere

5 years ago
- i had moved to islamabad and still wore jeans everywhere, as did 70% of the female student population at my school
- i was still thinking about my brothers friend
- my family was still "dysfunctional"
- boy bands were just lame, MTV was in and replaced Channel V as " the channel"
- i still wanted to go to india
- i was thinking about my future
- i lost one of my best friends because of one stupid arguement.

Last one year
- i know where i want to be 20 years from now, and no - i don't want to be "rich"!
- my brothers friend is a thing of the past, he's also just not as cool anymore!
- i realized that i have an amazingly cool family
- i joined AIESEC
- i've been to india thrice
- the best friend i'd had a fight with finally talked to me.
- i now live in lahore, still wear jeans everywhere.

Yesterday (Monday)
- i was in karachi, and wearing jeans :)
- lunched at an @ers house with 15 other people
- i said goodbye to the most amazing people i've ever known
- me and sharmeen "discovered" something!
- i realized we took a few hundred pictures while at SDC.

Five Yummy things
- chocolate (toblerone, maltesers, bounty and mars)
- anything at subway!
- chicken karachi, handi, and other pakistani food thats spicy :)
- new york cheese cake
- my moms cooking!

Five songs I know by heart
- you're beautiful, james blunt
- she will be loved, maroon 5
- it's a wild, wild world, mr. big
- hallelujah, rufus wainwright
- saahil ki talaash, saaya

Five things I'd do if I had money
- visit new zealand
- go to disney world - yes yes, i'm a kid!!
- pay back my student loan
- buy a laptop, don't care which one as long as it has massive amounts of disk space and lets me play AoE
- get a 4 gb nomad

Five places I escape to
- my room, both at home and in LUMS
- naureen's room
- the park next to LUMS
- the tv lounge
- the supermarket

Five TV shows
- that 70s show
- house
- lost
- friends
- the apprentice

Five things I enjoy doing
- playing AoE
- travelling
- talking
- reading
- playing with animals

Favorite toys
- my nomad, though its not working too well now
- my movie camera, though its not working too well nowadays (maybe i should use some of that money to buy new stuff!!)
- duke, a stuffed dog so big he rivals the travel smurf in size!
- emad's camera
- madiha's PC

I tag
- nic
- nicole
- dhanur
- ali
- pani

just came back from one of the most amazing conferences ever! and for the first time EVER, i had GOOD food at a conference!! more updates soon...

you know you're living in 2005 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

and now you're laughing at yourself...

randomness

it's weird, i haven't "blogged" in ages..but as soon as i see a major exam heading my way (philosophy paper in another 2.5 hours) all i can think about it the hundred things i wanna post about...

had the weirdest conversation with one of the LUMS drivers today. i'll start from the top - went to then bank to deposit a check - sara offered to drive me off but had to go on home so couldn't drop me back to LUMS, but just as i got out of the car i met one of the LUMS drivers paying some bills. LUMS gaurds/drivers are something of an institution - you can always converse with them about anything from cricket to bad weather to cats to banks. anyway - sweet man that he is, he said he'd wait till i was done and then drive me back to LUMS.

so on the way back we talked about the earthquake, the effect it had had on his family (they're living in 2 tents), about the LUMS students who went with all the relief goods and stayed at his place, about the convocation and how zainab k won't be around to arrange it this year and finally about LUMS - more importantly - about how it isolates the "LUMS society" (which includes everyone who lives on campus, including the gaurds, drivers and even faculty) and how we're so caught up in our own lives that living in LUMS is like living in a bubble. weird.

anyway, come monday and i'm outta this place till the 4rth! will be back for one WHOLE day before i leave for SDC in karachi on the 6th and return on the 13th! I BELIEVE! or so the conference theme states! should be loads of fun (and serious work!) - so many ppl to catch up with!

Seven Things

Seven Things I Plan To Do
1. graduate!
2. learn spanish
3. go on a backpacking trip with friends (preferably europe)
4. go on a trekking trip to the north of pakistan
5. see as much of india as physically possible
6. go to the north of pakistan to help with the reconstruction work
7. visit new zealand, mauritius, russia, spain, poland, kenya and as much of south america as possible

Seven Things I Can Do
1. understand french and gujrati (mostly) besides the usual trio of english, urdu and punjabi
2. get an indian visa in 2 hours (conditions apply)
3. do stupid things without getting embarrased
4. eat unlimited supplies of maltesers, pickles and olives
5. play age of empires for 12 hours straight
6. sleep for 24 hours straight (lol!)
7. not unpack for 2 months after coming back from summer vacations (i just finished!)

Seven Things I Can't Do
1. control my impatience
2. sing
3. console someone when they cry
4. put up with crap from anyone
5. use HTML! someone teach me!!
6. play the drums
7. eat yogurt

Seven Things I Say Most Often
1. f**k that shit (thanks emad!)
2. damnit
3. dude
4. wazzup
5. i'm-a-like-a-yo!
6. relax
7. chill out

...22...

Ammar's Bday002
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

there's one friend who will always understand why i get depressed on my birthday...

on the 23rd, he turned 22.

this is a picture from 1 of the four or so parts of his birthday (or should i say birth-week!)

ammar's the guy holding the chair...

...

i'm a VERY mean person! more details after Monday :-)

browsing the LAN i found a collection of music i made on another friends pc last year which she'd shared. obviously i had to download it to see what i'd been listening too - mostly stuff i'm still listening too :) some songs had me smiling though. amazing stuff i'd forgotten about and is definitely going onto my nomad. i love doing this, putting songs, thoughts away and then looking at them a year or so later. never fails to put a smile on my face. i have a couple of cartons (one in lums, one at home) which hold all the things i've saved - from school, university. every year when i have time i open them up and go through everything. old pictures, cards, ticket stubs, signed napkins, sugar cubes - and now i guess this blog serves much the same purpose.

so, after putting some good music on i just lounged around, thinking about last year and the year before that. thinking about all i've done while at lums. looking out the window i could barely feel the light breeze. winters on its way. eid is almost here. get to go home for one week. can't wait to meet the family...and hopefully catch up with the school gang :)

LUMS has reached its minimum target of Rs. 10 million.

Of this 10 million, 1 million was from donations to LVS through the fund boxes placed around campus has been:

Days Rupees

Sunday (2 hours of collection) : 36,700
Monday, Oct 10 2005: 212,600
Tuesday, Oct 11 2005: 405,020
Wedneday, Oct 12 2005: 227,455
Thursday, Oct 13 2005: 237,696
Friday, Oct 14 2005: 88,388

Total 1,147,859

taken from tree-elfs blog

In Vino, Veritas

this has been taken off nomadlife:

LA Times writes a short article about how guys form opinion on their date based on the drinks they order

"Beer: It doesn't matter what kind you drink, most guys approve and it shows you are laid-back and comfortable in your surroundings, not trying to impress anyone.But they advise that if it is a first date and you're going for drinks somewhere other than a sports bar, it's probably not the best choice.

Wine (red or white): A bit refined, or at least pretending to be.

Margarita: A fun-loving girl with lots of personality.

Gin and tonic: Guys are split on this one. Some say it signifies a sophisticated woman; others say it is someone looking to get drunk.Either way, it signals that youmay have hit your grandma's liquor cabinet early on. Use sparingly.

Martini: Somewhat classy ? or you just like the fun glass.

Cosmopolitan: A bit trendy, and some guys view it as snobby. Also, it shows someone with expensive taste. So if the guy's paying the bill, steer clear of this one, especially if the date's going badly. He doesn't want to have to take out a loan to buy you drinks.

Long Island iced tea: He knows how much alcohol is in it ? and that you might end up spending the night feeling very, very ill.

Rum and Coke: This is a basic, and fairly safe, drink choice. Someone who likes to have fun but can keep herself in check.

Whiskey and Coke: Borderline alcoholic. Someone who is a bit sassy, will speak her mind and won't care what anyone thinks.

Vodka cranberry: Someone not familiar with many drinks, but who still likes to have fun and knows that vodka will do the trick without tasting too bad.

Red Bull and vodka: An absolute party girl. Save this one for the club.

Smirnoff Ice/Mike's Hard Lemonade/wine cooler: He probably won't appreciate this drink choice; unless your date is at the 7-Eleven, get a real drink.

Mudslide/white Russian: Any drink with milk in it scares guys.

Sea breeze/Midori sour/amaretto sour: A bit of a good girl. Someone who likes to drink but doesn't like the taste of alcohol.

Tequila: Guys dig a tequila drinker, but some claim "she is a keeper ? just for the night though." Avoid at all costs if you don't want to end up seeing his sheets. Otherwise, bottoms up."

and in the comments of the same post, this shocking record!

dody g.

...speaking of drinking, I wonder whether my record in Oriental Express and Nordic Highway still hold.

nida

whats the record?!?

dody g.

Disclaimer: I was young and foolish back then.

I remember (there are pictures somewhere to confirm it)

11 seconds for 13 shots in Nordic Highway and 9 seconds for 11 shots for Oriental Express. And they were all clean; no spilling nor passing out afterwards :) (dody g.)

:-O !!

i've always thought of LUMS as the kind of place where you have all sorts of people. i've always been proud of that. you have those who will study for a 5% quiz a week before it takes place and those who will miss it because they were up all night hanging out at the khokha; there's those who are religious and those who define what "not religious" means and finally, there's your quiet, shy types who hang out with the same people for four years and those who happen to know the entire campus. i've also always divided people into another category, those who donate (no matter for what cause, no matter in what way) and those who say they have an exam, are tired, have a party to go to...

i've recently realised i was wrong about that last category. i stepped into the sports complex (a huge building where LUMS is currently collecting cloths, medicines, bedding for those in the northern areas) and saw people i never thought would manage to make it to one of these events. the same people who always told me before a blood donation drive, that they didn't think it was worth it, the same people who study for exams two weeks in advance (and we're in the middle of exams right now), the same people who didn't have time to do anything besides hang out at the khokha/hotspot!

i'm proud of LUMS, since sunday, 6 lacs has been collected - 600,000 Rs - just by students alone. 2 trucks full of relief materials have been sent to various cities in the north, and along with it some LUMS students (hats off to the LUMS adventure society!) people have been showing up before and after iftari to make sure everything's packed for when the trucks show up, some have even stayed back during iftari. the whole process has been co-ordinated to the point of looking like a military exercise. open the bags of clothes being donated, sort, place in cartons, seal, tag and load. the batches of 2008/2009 has been amazing in doing everything and anything thats asked of them, they must have assembled hundreds of cartons by now, sorted clothes enough for a whole village. so many people have volunteered to go collecting donations throughout lahore that bilal tanweer said he had so many he was going to have to turn some away...

it took something this huge to bring everyone together, but i'm proud of the way everyones working at it. they're all taking it one bag of donations at a time, one truck at a time, one lac at a time...but they're making steady progress into making sure LUMS does its bit for the people who're suffering...

Aid agencies working in the quake zone

International aid organizations are accepting donations to help victims of the devastating earthquake in South and Central Asia. A list of these groups can be found on the CNN website.

"LUMS is having a week-long charity drive (longer, if necessary) starting tomorrow to collect supplies for the Kashmir districts.

While money is welcome, what is needed more urgently are dry goods- atta, sugar, daal and other foodstuffs, bottled water, blankets, clothes, medicines, anything you can think of. There will be a stall open on campus from 12 noon to 3 p.m.

If anyone has contacts with pharmaceuticals, food companies or anyone else that can help, please e-mail the LUMS Volunteer Society at lvs@lums.edu.pk ASAP.

Everything is going through a reliable channel and people will be receiving these supplies either directly through the LVS or an organisation like Edhi or Oxfam. Please donate freely."

Relief Drive

"One in the bus. As I boarded the bus for Islamabad at about 8 PM last night, I hardly had any clue to what comes next. Everyone here and abroad was calling up to ask if everything's okay. Just I was having these thoughts, the guy sitting beside me was anxiously calling up people in panic. It came to me that he belonged to Azad Kashmir, a district named Bagh. He told that 4 of his family's houses collapsed in the quake and killed 7 family members including his grand-mother, one relative grand-father and many others. "

Islamabad's Diary: Experience life

and the government officials release more information on the collapsed building, "the Government department which runs the affairs and manages things in capital territory of Islamabad had not issued a completion certificate to Margalla Towers yet."

Islamabad's Diary: Havoc

however, the most irritating thing about this earthquake is this:

"No evidence suggests that the deadly earthquake that rocked Pakistan on Saturday injured or killed the world's top terror leader, Osama bin Laden"

i mean 20,000 people died in pakistan. although i sincerely hope he's trapped in a cave due to this quake, i do feel that there are more relavent things that can be reported.

two towers of margallah apartments holding 16 apartments and about 150 people collapsed. for a long time nothing could be done about the people inside since the rescue workers were afraid of using cranes as there is a basement underneath the building and they weren't sure whether it would hold the weight of the crane or not.

82 people were pulled out alive from the rubble. but a government official said that rescuers also found the bodies of 10 people - seven Pakistanis, an Egyptian and two Japanese, one of whom was a two year old child.

apparently, by the time the second tremor hit, the building had already started to collapse.

president pervez musharraf's spokesman said "deaths could be running in the thousands" nationwide, and rescue teams have been airlifted into the worst-affected areas where roads had been cut off by landslides.

some 400 children were killed at two schools in nwfp, where around 1,000 people were feared dead. on pakistan's side of kashmir the toll would be worse.

the first quake was followed by 18 aftershocks which had magnitudes of between 4.6 and 6.3 over the next 10 hours. they were felt across the subcontinent, shaking buildings in the afghan, indian and bangladeshi capitals. we felt one while we were in our exam, though most of the class didn't realize it was an aftershock until after it had finished.

the U.S. geologicalsSurvey described the quake as major, saying it took place at a depth of 10 km (6.2 miles). the pakistan metrological department, said it was the strongest earthquake in the subcontinent since the 1905 kangra earthquake that killed 20,000 people in india's madhya pradesh state.

the phone lines have been clogged with people calling family all over the country. it's been impossible to get through to anyone.

update...

the earthquake measured 7.6 on the scale, not 6.7. also an apartment building just collapsed in islamabad. apparently the top two florrs collapsed first, and at this point two of the four towers are down. i don't know how many, but there were people in there - this is one of the well-known apartment blocks, so i'm guessing families. also these are right next to a main market and main road so i wonder exactly how much damage has happened.

its much worse up north where landslides have also taken place. i've been told all this is being aired right now so i'm going to go get updated...

so i'm sitting on my roommate's pc, going through some last minute prep for my exam today when suddenly the monitor started shaking lightly. my first thoughts we, "oh god! there really is a ghost living in this hostel" (details about this later). a few seconds later i realized that i was indeed feeling a - by now - pretty strong earthquake. by this time my roommate had woken up so the two of us stood up and stood right under the door, as taught to us by our parents (i just found out thats NOT what you're supposed to do) and pretty soon the entire corridor was filled with people. a few minutes passed, and everything was quite again so we all came back to our rooms and i decided to look up tips on earthquake safety on the internet. random? read on!

so another five minutes pass, and then i feel more shocks. much lighter than the first time but still worrying. so me and salma (who lives across from me) decide we should all vacate the hostel. we start waking people up, and can you imagine that people had actually fallen in just five minutes! and to make things weirder, they refused to leave the building, saying they'd felt much worse! so i grabbed my exam notes, keys and cell and went outside and talked to some other hostelites who had decided to leave the rooms as well. after about fifteen minutes of "where were you when it happened?" and "what did you do?" i decided to come back to the room.

then i went to the common room, where we have the hostel tv, and put on the news. amazingly, the local news had already picked up on the story and were getting interviews of people who had come out on the streets. it's being said the earthquake measured 6.7 on the richter scale which is pretty bad. apparently the epicentre is somewhere near gilgit in the north and the shocks travelled all the way to karachi in the south and then came back, which is why we had a five minute gap between shocks. there have been reports of houses falling down but i haven't heard any confirmed news yet.

anyway, that was my saturday morning. wonder what the rest of the weekends going to be like.

taj mahal trip!

at the white building...

a much prettier building!

the rest of the IC pics...

Preeto and Bhaisaab. Go here for further details

Closing Plenary! cool shirt, eh?

Brodie signing a Pakistani flag that we later lost :(

Travel-smurf's new home...Egypt!

one final picture...

IC 2005!

Gig 05 024
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 058
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 088
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 090
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 095
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 110
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 134
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 211
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 215
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 250
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Gig 05 269
Originally uploaded by monday_bluez.

Bored?

Tired?

Totally Stressed??

Wanna Relax??

Wanna Do Something DIFFERENT??

How bout this! ;)

The Music Society is holding an Open House & Jam session!!! Just a couple of hours where musicians and non musicians alike can get together, play good music, listen to good music, and just unwind. An unplugged session like never before. The music society invites you, Freshman and Seniors alike. Bring the lyrics, bring your guitars if you like, most importantly, bring your love for music and jam with us!!!

The rules well… come listen to us start it off, then you guys come and play. Never played in front of a crowd before? Doesn’t Matter. Only know a couple chords? Doesn’t Matter. Know only the one string version to “tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam”? Doesn’t Matter. If you want us to play while you sing, not a problem - get the chords (go to guitartabs.cc) and well do our best. Semi Acoustic Guitars only. We have two, bring ure own if you want.

In the REC room (next to the super store)
Tomorrow 29th September 2005.9p.m. Onwards!

having missed the last couple "music society" presentations, i knew i didn't want to miss this too. and i'd also promised ibad, which was why i tore myself away from "the matrix" and wandered down to the "rec room" to see what all the fuss was about. i must admit, i was impressed by the number of people waiting outside the room for the concert to start.

once i got inside, however, i realized why it was i had missed the music society so much. as is usual right before concerts; people were missing, things were getting set up, people were anxious, responsibilities were being appointed. good old music society. the "mahol" -atmosphere- was amazing. the lights were off. some lamps had been brought in and covered with colored paper. and the cool and trusty "khokha" bar stools had been set up.

after about half an hour of catching up with various people, namely ibad and salman, who i hadn't met in a while, i was told i'd be filming the show. as usual. not my favorite thing to do, and not something i'm good at, but whatever.

the show was great. since it was an "open night" and everyone who wanted to was allowed to play, i was a bit unsure of how the society would manage, both content and management wise. but they did pretty well. some people had to wait a while to play, but that was to be expected. however, everyone got a chance, with preference being given to "first-timers".

amazing performance by kazi (2006). went to school with him and NEVER knew he could sing THAT well! also, the 2009s were really good with quite a few people getting up to play - dunno everyone's names so sorry about that. erum's "one more time - britney spears" was done quite well with amazingly feminine (heh) backing vocals and saad+taha's "jumma, chumma de de" was well co-ordinated to say the least! hub and sibti's "no idea" song was funny, though i'm sure lots of people had no idea what they were talking about.

as far as the "old" members go, they were obviously amazing. ammar freshie and shibli's "learn to fly" and "rangon main" were amazing. ehsan's "if green to me was blue to you" was something i hadn't heard before, and was extremely happy with (yay! have that on tape as well!). those three, by the way, are geniuses. i swear! i'm getting autographs right now as an investment. :D

highlights of the concert (?) was a fight (details can be obtained from me, though even i don't know what exactly happened!), ammar's string breaking (thus taking over salman's position as official string-breaker), shibli messing up caught on tape), saad's "gay eskimo" and ehsan's mummy's tears!

all in all, i walked away from the concert happy. definitely time well-spent. in the end. a song that stuck with me through the concert...and something i think should've been sung at the end.

Another turning point;

a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;

directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test

and don't ask why.

It's not a question

but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs

and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf

In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories

and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,

it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable

but in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

time of your life - green day

the "matrix" craze completely passed me by even though the entire world was going crazy about it. i don't know why but but even though i did see the first movie, i never got into the whole "this world is all make-believe" theory. however, i did realize, about a year back, that i should atleast attempt to watch the movies, just for the sake of "knowing what it's all about". i'd already seen the first one by then, and then i saw parts of the second, and somehow i got hooked.

now the only way i can watch movies while living in LUMS is the cable tv, or on the hostel LAN (if someone has the movie shared). unluckily for me, no one has "the matrix" on the LAN and they never put it on cable, or atleast i never saw any adverts. so when three weeks ago HBO started advertising that it was going to run all three parts on one day, i marked the day and time down on my calendar.

anyway, today at 4:45 local time, i went to the hostel lounge and with the blanket (that room is freezing!) and remote control, i sat down to watch all three movies. just as i was getting into the whole movie - the part where they tell you what the matrix really is - the cable shut off.

i still haven't figured out the cause, but it was either because LUMS shut down it's entire telecommunications server for maintenence or because the cable provider had some problems! the LUMS system comes online in another 5 minutes, so i'm still kind of hopeful that was it. but in any case, i'm going to be pretty clueless about whats going on now since i've missed out on the most important bits. i guess i'll just watch them at home now, during eid break! which is one month away!! hmph! i don't like the system...

this is twisted, yet funny...

"I found this link yesterday and I've already lost count of the amount of time I've wasted simply staring at the screen in rapt fascination. "

zaki's corner

OMG! just saw the first episode from the second season of "lost". i'd been worried that after an amazing first season, the second season wouldn't be as good. obviously expectations have risen and the producers might not be able to deliver. but i was ABSOLUTELY wrong. if this entire season is anything like the first episode...then we're in for an amazing 24 episodes. amazingly wow! can't wait for the next one now!

LOL...you definitely have to try this out! try as i might, i haven't been able to win! erm...for people who're wondering, i got this off reeny's blog and ammar sent it to her...

in other news...aiesec.net is down :) you're probably wondering about the smile...me too...

plus i got this off tom's blog ... really cool..!

interesting things i read...

boring title, i know :P~

there's a reason for it. "what should i do today?" that was the first thing that came into my head when i woke up. and the thought didn't go away all day. i had some stuff to do, but i still had most of the day with nothing planned. which meant that i just browsed the internet and went through peoples blog's. i ended up reading some fascinating stuff, and decided that i might as well post about it.

here's a summary...

"Hurricanes in the Gulf of Mexico continue to spark news and opinion pieces all over the Web, but by far the strangest theme is the "end times" scenario. Based on prophecies in the Bible (and the Koran, and the "third secret of Fatima"—and "scientific" prophesies from ecologists), bloggers all over the world are discussing the signs that we are "entering the end of days."

read more on paper frigate

Micheal Moore's Open Letter to W.

"Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag."

taken from Stewsday

also a must read on the same blog: "Grandma's 90th Birthday"

another extremely interesting blog was "ente paralelo". the most interesting post was about a college project the author is carrying out. "Each student can decide what would be the topic of the book.I choose fashion by location. I'm planning to include some serious essays about cultural identity through fashion, as I go to very distinct locations and take a series of minimum 30 people per location. I'm posting the images in my website while in college."

i also ran across the postsecret blog, i was watching MTV a couple of days ago and saw a video which had used the idea. lots of people holding up postcards telling their secrets. nice video, but i wonder if "postsecret" was given any credit for the idea. correction. "Did The All-American Rejects Steal Your Images For Their Music Video? No. The band made a generous donation of $2,000 to the National Hopeline Network. They were given full permission to use PostSecrets in their MTV video." I guess i stand corrected :D

that's it, since the postsecret blog doesn't have a "next blog" tab, i'm going to call it a day and go to sleep now.

the results...

Finally, after three years of planning, we went and got the darned picture taken! 20 out of 21 original “gang” members were present. Harris was missing; Jerry came to Lahore especially for the picture. Some background – when we were all freshmen, we wanted to get a “formal” studio picture taken together. Something to remember our days together by. Finally it happened tonight. The whole night involved a lot of waiting at the main gate, calling everyone so they would hurry up, struggling to fit everyone into the cars, deciding how everyone was going to stand in the picture, making sure everyone was happy with where they stood, deciding how many pictures to take, deciding where to go for dinner, who was going to sit at what table, who was going to get home how. Sounds like fun doesn’t it :D

I should say that three years have made me used to all the noise, chaos, whining, screaming, bitching, and yelling. It hasn’t. Usually in the middle of the dinner I feel like getting up and just walking out, and I’m sure everyone else does too. But sometimes the whole fun is in being able to make it through it all, coming back to LUMS, gathering at the gate one last time, and going to the dorms. I hate to think that at the end of this year most of my friends will leave LUMS, I might never meet some of them again. And that’s what makes me go to all the dinners we’ve had so far, follow through on all the plans we’ve made. I don’t want to regret not having spent enough time with these hooligans, I know I’ll miss each one when they’re gone.

Anyway, Sameera took a LOT of pictures. I narrowed them down to these interesting ones.

This was taken after we got to the studio and everyone crammed into this one room with a mirror. And Jerry (in white) was trying to get everyone out so we could get started.

After the picture was taken, standing right outside the studio. Naureen, Saif and Ammar’s face :D

Have no idea who took this, when and why. But it’s a good picture of Ammar and Ambreen and someone’s hand.

Saif. He looks like Bond. Or so he thinks.

Naureen’s hand.

This is a picture of the salt shaker, the person holding it is me :D

Asad and Abeer. Asad’s eyes are open in this picture. That’s a rarity.

Rabea looking down from above. We were waiting to be seated and these guys got the table first.

The cutest kid ever. She fell in love with Ammar, and then the parents complained about us the HobNob’s management (apparently we were making a lot of noise) and left.

Naureen, Nida, Asad, Ambreen and Abeer. Asad’s eyes are closed, just as he said as soon as Sam took the picture.

Saif. I really like this picture. He looks like himself.

IC pictures!

Waiting for the bus to leave after customs clearance

Bhaisaab and the Smurf!

Vijit's apartment, New Delhi

AIESEC Pakistan with Salman Ahmed, Opening Ceremony - IC 2005

AIESEC India and AIESEC Pakistan, Opening Ceremony - IC 2005

hehe, thought i'd finally transfer my blog to aiesec.net...one of those cool "your name".aiesec.net blogs...as far away from the "blogger" name as possible - but one thought just kept going through my mind, what if aiesec.net crashes? and then i kept remembering tom's IS presentation - which btw, has to be the coolest presentation i've EVER been to! amazing job! - anyway, i kept remembering that and how he'd promised (punch-me-in-the-gut-if-aiesec.net-crashes) that aiesec.net was indeed stable now... anyhoo, final decision - not taking that chance, not just yet...maybe in another few months after having tested the system enough. :D

moving on, the days since i've come back from IC have been a haze really. we're finally back in the REAL world, and i didn't really have time to think about IC once i got back since we rushed right into recruitment and an info session which was probably the most fun session I'VE had while being on the delivering side. usually i just hate presentations, so many people watching - and you always go SO wrong! but this time was fun :)

went out for dinner with the GANG! a group of 21 people who were together day and night in our freshmen year. we were all living in the same dorms, many of us were rooming with each other and we all took the same courses. anyway, we were all pretty close...but then sophmore year hit and we all decided that other friends were more important, room-mates didn't get along and taking the same classes wasn't all that much fun. i plead guilty on all those counts. still, two of us just got engaged to each other, we we all got back together for one dinner, only 4 people missing - which isn't a lot - and one, harris, has moved to australia so there's no meeting him for some years now. it was kind of sad. sitting at that long table. not knowing what to say to most people since i hadn't met them in a while, yet knowing that we needed to have one final conversation before everyone graduates this year. for most of the "gang", this is their last few months at lums. they'll be gone, i doubt we'll all be able to get back together again...and that's just really sad.

we still have graduation, and graduation dinner in front of us - so that's good. but nothing is every going to bring back those weird 3 am trips where we'd all leave lums in search of pizza, then eat it sitting on the road in front of a half-closed pizzeria. or the time when we spent new years on the road since we didn't have reservations for any place and thus couldn't get a seat in any of the 30 restaurants on m.m alam road! we shared a lot in that one year, we also didn't share a lot in the two years that followed. this year is our one last chance to make up as friends. we're planning on getting a "gang" picture taken next weekend, jerry's coming into town especially for that. have been trying to arrange one for three years and it's finally working out :D

anyway, i'm rambling on...i'm just not happy that everyone will graduate this june and i'm still here for another 2 quarters. right now it seems like the weather outside is nice, so i think i'm going to go take a walk...maybe that'll help clear my head up a bit!

just got back from a trip to the taj mahal. wasn't planning on visiting it but when i saw that quite a lot of people were going, and knowing that i wasn't probably going to sleep for the next couple of hours anyway, i thought i'd join them. anyway, so quite a few of us - namely emad, deepdesh (and his serbian delegation), the russians, romanians, quite a few people from the alumni congress and i left the hotel at 5:30. got to the taj, walked around for a bit, and then the people who had the Rs. 20 tickets came back (after about a 20 minute trip) and the Rs 750 ticket people stayed back to try and make the most of the amount.

what do i think? it's a big building, made by someone trying to prove his love. what i liked the most was the sunrise, the fact that there was a freakishly loud echo inside the tomb, and that the squirrels weren't scared of us. i'm not a building person, i don't like going to places and spending all my time in buildings. i guess that makes me a really bad tourist. i'd rather be outdoors, spending time with people from the area.

but i'm glad i went. i may never be this close to the taj again, and i dont want to regret it 10 years down the line. i would say it was Rs. 40 well spent.

IC 2005!

IC has by far been one of the greatest experiences of my life - and we're only on day 2 right now! i thought after all i had heard about IC 2004, this one would probably not live up to my high expectations - but it's been so much better than i ever thought it would be.

right from the people to the atmosphere (food even, who thought conference food could be good!) IC has been amazing.

we reached agra on the morning of the 27th - the cc transported us here by bus, which left delhi in the middle of the night. as soon as we got here we were told that we needed to change, attend opening ceremony and leave for global village - all without a room! so we all changed in tori and russell's rooms. opening ceremony was awesome! beginning with parthiv's speech to salman ahmad's amazing performance, i don't think i can ever experience a more powerful moment in my life!

global village followed, where i got to try out all sorts of weird games that the south east asian countries had brought along with them - including this weird bubble making thing which was totally cool! and totally un-do-able! that was day 0, and right now we're on day 2! i can't believe this is my 3rd day in agra!

for those wondering, i haven't gone to the taj mahal yet! i saw it from where our global village was being held as that was really close to it, and it looks nice but i might skip its tour. just got out of a session, which we all spent discussing aiesec 2010 and making figurines out of modelling clay! am going to go back to sessions now and later tonight we have africa night! which should be loads of fun!

Indian and Pakistani band take steps towards peace at international conference

We've always heard that music crosses all boundaries. This month, the celebrated Indian band, Euphoria and the internationally acclaimed Pakistani band, Junoon, take strong steps towards peace by playing together in an encore performance.

The event will take place at the AIESEC 57th International Congress in Agra, India, with over 500 students from over 80 countries in attendance.

AIESEC, the world's largest student organization, is no stranger to world peace. In fact, that was one of the founding premises on which the organization was born in 1948 (i.e. after the Second World War). Seven students from seven European countries decided that something needed to be done to develop 'friendly relations' between member countries and therefore developed an exchange program that allowed for students to live and work in other countries to break local mindsets while expanding their own global network.

In wake of the renewed ties between India and Pakistan, both countries are experiencing an exchange of artists, more cultural and musical programmes.

The last time Junoon performed in India it was in aid of the Earthquake victims of Gujarat. Commenting on Indo-Pak relations Salman Ahmed (Lead singer, Junoon) said, "This is like building a wall between people. The lesser people see the other side, the greater is the fear that sets in. We need to dispel these fears.’’ (Salman has in fact written to the Indian and Pakistani governments, requesting permission for a Peace Concert at the LoC (Line of Control).) When India and Pakistan previously performed together, Dr. Palash Sen lead singer of Euphoria was heard lambasting, “ Pakistan Zindabad, Hindustan Zindabad; Jai Hind, Jai Pakistan'’.

Furthermore, as Salman Ahmed, very rightly, said, ‘‘It is the young who hold hope for the two nations and we wish to work with them to propagate peace.”
AIESEC's International Congress, held August 27 to September 5 in Agra, India, is an example of these 'friendly relations' that will see students from across the world interacting in seminars and workshops focusing on issues such as energy, education, HIV/AIDS, finance and corporate social responsibility. AIESEC will be focusing on these issues on a global level and the workshops at this conference will give AIESEC's members the knowledge and skills to do so.

Today, AIESEC is the international platform for young people to discover and develop their potential. AIESEC's exchange program has evolved dramatically since its beginning and last year gave 4,000 students and recent graduates the opportunity to live and work abroad. Our membership has grown to 26,000 over 90 countries. The International Congress was held last year in Hanover, Germany and will be held next year in Poland. These are just one of over 350 conferences held each year.

IC 2005

i'm back!

While talking about Zia, one of Pakistan's more notorious leaders, I realised that one of my first memories is of his funeral. My uncle had a house that overlooked the Faisal Mosque, a huge mosque that sits at the base of the Margallah hills in Islamabad. I remember we were there during the summers (we lived in Faislabad at that time and would always go to Islamabad during the summers), and I guess I must have seen the funeral through the windows. I remember there were hundreds of people there.

Now, I must've been about 5 at the time, so there's a huge possibility that in reality I just saw the funeral on TV and not in real life. But I also remember my aunt getting my a wind-up toy seal that summer, one that would do back flips and rotate a beach ball on its nose.

Anyway, this is something I must ask my mom about. Fortunately since I'm going home tomorrow - finally! - I can ask her over a big pile of pancakes! I've missed pancakes! I'm so happy I'm going home.

Some things never change. I know exactly what I'll be doing over the next two days. not that I've planned anything, I just happen to do the same thing every time! The minute I step out of the car the cook will come up with a big grin on his face. He's been with our family only a few years but feels like family now. I'll sit and chill for a little while then I'll call up both my aunts, we'll go over to their house first chance we get, talk about everything under the sun, maybe have dinner together. I'll catch up with my grandfather, something I've come to realise I'll miss when he's not around. He'll tell me about pre-partition India, stories I love hearing. I never knew until last year that my ancestors were from Jalandhar! My mom will ask me what I want to eat, the next two days will be filled with food I shouldn't eat but will anyway! One of my cousins has moved back from New York so we'll spend a lot of time catching up with him. My sister's visiting, that means my neice will be there as well. My and my sister will probably off-load her on my mom atleast one day and go shopping for books - our biggest passion! I'll catch up with her, she'll lecture me about grades. Same old stuff.

All of the above will have happened by Sunday night. After that, it's pretty much just chilling out at home. Catching up on @ stuff. Before I know it, one month will be gone. I'll be headed back here. Another year, my last year with my friends. more on that later.

Three passenger trains have collided in southern Pakistan, killing at least 132 people and injuring hundreds more. BBC News

What's shocking is that this is the same train hundreds of LUMinites use every term to go back home to Karachi. Fortunately, most people aren't over with their exams yet and other had opted to go via plane due to the reduced airfares being offered to students. I know a lot of people who were planning on going on this same train and for various reasons had changed their plans.

This crash brings back memories of the Daewoo accident that took place some time ago. I was in Islamabad that weekend and was supposed to come back to Lahore on that same bus. However, me being me, hadn't booked a ticket and chose to drive in the next day. I remember my friends valling on my cell frantically once they heard of the crash on the news. I've never believed in fate more. I've also started wearing a seat-belt.

A friend of mine was on that bus. Actually, a lot of LUMinites were since most Islamabadi's had gone home for the weekend. They were all ok, cuts and bruises. Some got more seriously hurt, but no fatalities. Quite a few people did die though.

Now this, I've heard from freshmen were on the train. We haven't heard anything yet.

more news..

**for those who've been wondering how i have access to the internet**

Dear students,
Since the submarine cable fault has not been addressed so far and we have been provided a limited bandwidth by PTCL on the satellite backup link, you are requested to use Internet access for browsing the web pages only.
Please do not download software as this chokes the link and create problems for other users.
We hope that the problem will be over soon.
Regards,
ITSC Helpdesk

**i also hope the problem will soon be over!**

here we go again...

Dear All,
The submarine cable fault developed in SEA-ME-WE-3 last week has not been rectified so far and PTCL has recently informed us that one of their Satellite backup links has also been malfunctioned.
PTCL Engineers are working to resolve this issue. You may experience slow Internet access to complete Internet outage at some times. Access to our servers from outside Pakistan may also be slow.
For further information in this regard, you may contact ITSC HelpDesk at x4149.
Regards,

ITSC HelpDesk

Sent:
Tue 7/5/2005 4:22 PM

A tribute to all the 'nice guys' I know.

This article was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.

The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship." Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

- taken from vesna's blog -

aargh! what was he thinking? what does he think he is! i hate that man! i ABSOLUTELY hate him!!

in case you have no idea what i'm talking about, the lovey-dovey statements above are for my european history instructor! the most sadistic man alive on planet earth!

first he says, "history isn't about cramming it all in, it's about understanding and actually learning from your readings". then he gives us mcq mid terms, short question answers in quizzes (asking us specific stuff like, "what word did the author use to describe ...?", a book which is 1400 pages long, and to top it all off, an essay to write on questions such as:

1. An historian of great eminence once said: “Guns and money make history.”

Write an essay evaluating this statement. What does the statement mean? Do you agree or disagree? What does “history” mean in this context? What does it mean to say “make history?”

The question is asking you to evaluate the flow of history. An isolated example or two will not be sufficient to back up an argument.

2. An old Latin saying: Ex Cultu Robur (“From Culture comes Strength”).

Evaluate this saying. What role does culture play in history? What does “strength” mean? Is it the power to conquer another’s territory? Or another’s mind? Or to show resilience of mind in the face of territorial conquest? Or something else? What does “culture” mean? Art, religion, philosophy, ways of thinking? Or more? Back up your argument with concrete cases from the book to show what culture is and how it effects the flow of history.

3. Consider the role of individuals in history. Choose three or so great personages from history and discuss whether they were products of their times, or whether they shaped their times to suit their own interests and temperament. Do individuals play an active part in directing history? Or is there a “glacial flow of history” too powerful for any single individual to be able to have an appreciable impact on it?

also, he makes "statements" like:

Write an essay which is meant to be read by a lay-person, a non-specialist, somebody who is not very familiar with European history. Make a convincing case for whatever argument you choose to make while backing it up with historical materials taken from the text. The fewer questions you leave unanswered in the mind of the reader the more points you stand to earn. State your argument clearly and unambiguously. Back it up authoritatively and clearly with historical materials without assuming any prior knowledge on the part of the reader.

You are going to find out that writing a short piece is more difficult than writing a long one. It is important that you make every word count. Every sentence should contain an idea. Every paragraph should contain a theme. The theme should advance with every paragraph. There should be a clear, concise introduction, followed by a substantive body, and a crisp ending which summarizes the argument and leaves the reader with a clear idea of what you are trying to say.

oh, and by the way, it's a 1000 word essay! i can't even begin to imagine how to write an answer to any of the above-mentioned questions in 2000 words, let alone 1000!

ok, i know i may be exaggerating. maybe i should actually be writing the paper instead of complaining about the unreasonable instructor. but no! i feel like taking the entire reading package, going up to his office, throwing it on the floor, jumping up and down on it, all the while screaming, aaaargh!!

Dear All,

Due to a fault in SEA-ME-WE 3 submarine cable, Internet Service operations across the country have been shifted to the Satellite backup Link by PTCL. You may experience slow internet performance while accessing some web sites. Engineers are working on the problem and hope to fix it soon.
We will let you know as soon as the Internet Services are returned to normal.
Regards

ITSC HelpDesk
LUMS

Sent:
Tue 6/28/2005 9:19 AM

Today's Saturday, and it hasn't been fixed yet. It's quite irritating because this is the first time in 3 years that I've considered checking my email a "pain". Saad and Asad have also posted about it, although most of Asad's post was too confusing for me to get. :D

Also, it's been raining a lot recently, due to which all sorts of bugs have started making appearances on campus. Some are quite scary, but most have alreday ben squished by passing cars.

Also, i got a new kitten. Actually, it's been a week but the stupid internet cable fault made it impossible for me to post earlier. anyhoo, it's a really cute male cat, about 4 weeks old. haven't named him yet. plan on taking him home to islamabad and keeping him there. pictures soon.

this has been lifted from dhruv's blog:

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac wouldhave never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky - I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me - I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance.And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in arow, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you."

Steve Jobs - Founder Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios