i wonder if anyone would notice if i just gave up. stopped writing my papers, stopped studying, stopped leaving my room, stopped getting out of bed, stopped caring. definitely my family would protest when my grades dropped - but their reason for doing so would be the fall in grades and not the emotional crap i was going through...my friends would worry, but only because they'd stop seeing me on campus.

i seriously wonder!

what would it be like to wake up one day and not get out of bed. not care what the world thinks, not give a shit about the fact that there is work to be done or people to be met.

don't get me wrong, i'm not going to do that - i have too much work i'm responsible for to be able to do that.

but i wonder!

would i live a better life that way? if i had the resources to not have to worry about my survival, would i choose that path? sitting in front of a t.v all day may seem boring but with the 100+ channels they offer now i'm sure it can't be that bad. i might even get a chance to catch up on the bold and the beautiful, not that it has changed much from the last time i saw it, a good couple of years back.

anyway, i'm drifting. i'm looking out of the window and i know that there's a lot that i need to get done. but this really small part of me wants to give up. stop! stop right now. call home, tell them i give up. but i wont. why? i seriously wonder why...